I'm the Dude Wearing Nail Polish Yelling, Hey!
by awabblertoday
Summary: Moments throughout the series that could've turned out a lot more different... And gayer. Mostly House and Wilson, though there might be someone else in later chapters. Homophobes, begone!


**Hello, my little victims. eh, I'll roll with it. So, I've been rewatching House now that I've got the expansion pack on DVD. I've always thought House and Wilson have had a bit of some romantic or sexual undertones in the things they do and say. Is it just me? Well, I don't own them, but I'd like to take some of the things they've said under some new light. The instances may not correlate with one another unless it's spoken so. On we go!**

 **SEASON ONE**

 **1.03 - Occam's Razor**

House and Wilson are hanging out; chatting in House's office. House is playing with his oversized tennis ball at his desk. Wilson is lounging in the chair in front of it. Foreman comes in unannounced, with a packet of papers.

"What did you find out?" House questions easily.

"The kidney failure. It's acute interstitial nephritis." Foreman shrugs, taking in House's easygoing manner on it.

"I wonder if that's significant." House responds sarcastically, smirking toward Wilson.

"It means the antibiotics didn't cause the kidney failure." Foreman raises an eyebrow.

"How did you know?"

House sounds affronted. "Well, if you guys hadn't been so busy trying to prove me wrong, you might have checked in on the poor kid."

Both eyebrows shoot up this time. "You visited a patient?"

He smiles arrogantly. "I was sitting by his bed all morning, just so he'd know someone was there for him."

Wilson sighs, butting into the conversation. "I looked in on him. He's much better."

House nods and the conceited smile remains on his face as he replies to his underling.

"Ergo, the treatment's working. Ergo, me right, you wrong."

"Hey, I'm glad for the kid." Foreman scoffs and leaves the office.

As the door closes, Wilson smiles at House. "That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality."

House genuinely smiles back, though his voice still holds the sarcasm. "Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain."

He grabs his cane and quickly clears a space on his desk and he hops up. Wilson blushes and House pats a spot next to him.

"C'mon, Jimmy. The kids are playing. We have some time for our smug little selves."

"Our?" Wilson smirks but climbs up anyway, receiving a superior, loving mouthful of

House.

...

1.18 - Babies & Bathwater

House is grumbling about Vogler and clinic trials as he walks into Wilson's office as per normal. He stops when he takes a good look at the scene before him. Wilson is packing up his office, and that scares House.

"What are you doing?"

"I got sacked."

House is shocked. "Did you, what did you do?"

"I voted to keep you."

The words tug at House's heartstrings, but he maintains a cool facade. He acts like it doesn't bother him.

"So he's getting rid of every board member who votes to keep me around?"

Wilson lets out a dark, humorless chuckle. "Yeah, every one of us."

Another tug at House's heartstrings occurs. Rather than pull his best friend into a hug, he pushes down his emotions and begins to reverse help. Whatever Wilson puts into the box, House takes out so it takes longer to pack.

"Just you?"

"Yeah."

Wilson looks as though he might be about to cry. House doesn't understand why someone would want to do that for him.

"But you're only off the board, right? They couldn't have got unanimous approval for you."

Wilson shakes his head. "Brown from Oncology voted no. So did Cuddy, Taylor and Peevey."

Bastards, House thinks. Aloud, he continues. "Eh, so you're off the board, big deal. Frees up Wednesdays nights for bowling. You're still a doctor"

Wilson cuts him off with a snarl protecting him from breaking down. "Yeah, getting dumped looks great in Who's Who. Vogler gave me the option of resigning, and I took it."

"Big of him." House really wants the conversation to be over.

Wilson's eyes begin to tear up. His aggression gets the better of him. "I've got no kids, my marriage sucks; I've only got two things that work for me: this job and this stupid, screwed-up friendship. And neither mattered enough to you to give one lousy speech."

The confession shocks House, but not as much as the fact that it did. All his emotions begin to fly to his face. A single tear begins running down Wilson's face, and House is thinking of bawling in his best friend's arms. Then he realizes with a start that his feelings go far beyond those of a regular best friend.

"They mattered." House's voice is barely above a whisper. "If I could do it all again…"

"You'd do the same thing." Wilson sighs with a heavy heart.

Before he can say anything else, House's arms fall around Wilson's waist. He's pulled closer to House's body, and quickly finds himself trapped against the bookcase in back. He's a little startled, but he hugs back. They stay like this a couple minutes. When Wilson begins to move away, House pulls back with determined force, and launches their lips together. It doesn't take long for Wilson to comply, but he pulls away after a minute.

"Hold up. What are we doing?"

"Kissing." He answers easily.

"But why?"

"You matter." House steals another kiss, but he pulls away to make a quick smartass remark. "Besides, I'll be gone soon, too. Then we can do this all the time."

Wilson smiles at the thought and leans in for another kiss. _Why the hell not?_

I guess each chapter will be another season of Hilson-goodness. I don't know when I'll update considering I decided to start watching this stuff just a week before school starts. Ah, well, Whatcha gonna do? Please review! 


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